Hark! Bob! It doth be the midst o' the night,
yet thou doth still insist on resting thine
contaminated self amidst my office!
I told you -- I'm not moving until my demands are met.
 

You're a smart guy.
Don't you realize what effect
this type of leadership will have
on the future of society?

Why dost thou enlighten me?
 
You're telling people it's okay to smell like
complete ass. If I wander around in my armor
packed to the brim with excrement, the general sociopath public -- with their insatiable thirst to
fit in with one another -- will think it's some kind of
sexy new trend. The dominoes begin to fall.
 
 
Before you know it, appalling aromas find
their way into mainstream, everyday life,
just like reality television, trucker hats, and Ashton Kutcher. And the scary thing? People start to enjoy it!
Hooray! Menthol!
I like menthol!
It smells like love!
 
Besides that, intestinal gas
tends to be on the hotter end
of the temperature spectrum.
And...?
 
 ... And plastic melts.
I couldn't get up if I tried.
(hoark!)
 
 
 
August 15th, 2005

t long last, I've located my Battlegrounds disc. It was missing. It was gone for months. I couldn't find it for the life of me. I was a little miffed. It was mindless, first-person-shooter entertainment with a Star Wars skin. Phaser rifles, commando pistols, and jet-packs once again grace my desktop computer arsenal. Even better -- I've got a faster video card that can handle anything SWB throws at it. Good times, I say.

Once again, I trounced an hour or so through my local general merchandise shop (which I will not mention by name, as I do not get royalties and their employees have the collective intelligence of an elephant's nutsack) for CDs or DVDs I might have an interest in. I came away with two things.

First, Joe Cocker, probably best known for his version of "With A Little Help From My Friends," the cut of music played during the opening home movie scenes in "The Wonder Years."

A guy I used to work with had an old-school stereo (it still had "hi-fi" and "phono" settings on it with big silver knobs and an analog station tuner) lazily filling the edit shop with various old-school tunes. Of them, I would occasionally poke my head out of whatever bay I was working in and ask, "Hey! I like this tune. Who is this?" I learned a lot about Stevie Wonder and Orlando Cachaito Lopez.

One of the tunes in the stereo's newer five-disc CD changer was Joe Cocker's "Feelin' Alright." Joe Cocker had a hand in a number of songs I'd heard, but didn't know the names of. One, of course, being the theme to "The Wonder Years."

Speaking of The Wonder Years, remember Winnie Cooper? Rarw, baby!

Of the tracks on the CD, and aside from Feelin' Alright, I've come to appreciate the live performances of "Cry Me A River" and "Letter."

Second, and the original item for my trip to the merchandiser is the first and second season boxed DVD set of Titus. I loved the show when it was on. It was cancelled too damn early. Nothing says comedy like the last fifteen seconds of Episode 2: "Sex With Pudding."

Dave inadvertently sets a wastepaper basket on fire!

 
LIPP's beloved host. Tolerant of my freeloading ass, for which I am grateful.
 
 
 
Art Koziol's photojournalistic study on the world of punk music.
 
A blogger who actually WON'T bore you to death!